I like to sit naked in front of people

but first, before i get into that mess...

my recipe for Chinese food.

1. choose your cat. any cat will do in a pinch but for the best flavor, it's best to be picky. shop around. your taste buds will thank you. it is very important to wash your cat before you start. i can not stress this enough. cleanliness is next to godliness, they say.

2. next, you must dry your cat. this can be tricky as the cat will want to escape. but great meals are created by blood, sweat, tears and a little bit of TLC.

3. the method of carving your cat is up to you. some people will swear by cubed steak, but i prefer fillet strip as the meat can soak up the flavor of the stir fry.

4. finally saute the cat in peanut sauce until it is browned. add you veg of choice and serve with a side of steamed rice.

***no cats were harmed in this blog, although the blogger was hissed at and ignored for the rest of the night by the cat***

fridge magnet poetry: by tat2kitten

her feet caressed my big heavy jelly bottom though he at some family yarn and probed a private golden wiggling sex mess by pleasuring the mischievous naked tiger we spanked on every exquisite night with violent milk and delicious smoke!

now for the actual blog:

i am a figure model (among other things) and i love my job. i'll be the first to admit that i don't have the body of a supermodel. hell, i barely have the body of one of the lesser models that stand next to supermodels hoping the super might rub off on them. now don't get me wrong, i still turn heads; i just don't look like a stick insect. anyway. if you think about it, i have a pretty sweet deal going on here. i get paid fairly well to sit for a length of time. that's it. ok so yeah, i'm naked but it's not like i'm doing anything freaky. it was hard the first time that i had to disrobe. i mean, suddenly people are looking a bits of you that only a spouse would see. and god bless the art students... no one ran from the studio, griping their face, screaming, "my eyes! my eyes!". some of the students are quite good. most... well there is a reason that they are students. some even give me samples of their work. if i like something, i'll ask for it or at least a copy of it. i am proud of the work that i do and am not ashamed to say it. (although it took me a year to be totally honest with the parental units about the type of modeling i do that the art school. as i see it... it is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.) The Boy doesn't mind. he was an art student at one time and understands that i just sit there. the funniest thing is the dynamic of the relationship with the students. i will sometimes run into students that i have posed for whilst i am out running errands. awkward. here you are standing in the shampoo section of wal-mart and next to you is an art student. it's less awkward running into the professors when i'm out and about. but still, you're like, "this person has seen my bits. nothing left to the imagination. sorry for that." i must say that the art that i have posed for is, in most cases, quite beautiful. very classic art. it makes me feel beautiful. i'll admit that it is frustrating posing for artist that are less practiced. in the same class, you will have a piece that will take your breath away sitting next to a piece that makes you want to go poke out you mind's eye. but the following pieces are me at my most artistic. enjoy.