oh oh oh it's magic

two nights ago i realized the full extent of my new role as a widow. (don't worry. Himself is very much alive and well...for now *insert evil laugh here*) no, i mean that i am a widow to magic. yes, ladies and gentlemen... Himself is a magician. and no, he doesn't look like david bowie from labyrinth. although, if he did... holy crap... he would never see the light of day 'cause i would have him strapped down as my love slave for the rest of his natural life. anyway, i digress. widow to magic.

Himself and i have added another cat to our growing menagerie. (i can hear you... "another animal!" yes, he's a little black cat and he's named after famed mentalist, max maven. maven is a little stinker and we are very happy to have him in the family) so, Himself is in the magic room (yes, the spare room is now "the magic room") while i was in the living room crocheting some props for Himself's act (i know, right). maven is skulking around, peapie is generally pissed at everyone because maven is there, rusty is going completely ape shit because of maven and pearl is indifferent to everything else going on (i love pearl). anyway maven is on my lap when pearl decides to make her introductions. maven wasn't so interested in meeting the huge greyhound and decided to claw his way up my torso. i'm screaming in both anger and pain, rusty is (again) going ape shit, peapie is hissing, pearl is freaked out and maven is completely beside himself. now bear in mind that i have been policing the animals all day and, now, all night and haven't had a break from rusty's incessant, high-pitched barking since maven set his paw on the floor. so, Himself saunters in, in a sort of dazed sort of way, as if he just awoke from sleep or just landed back on earth from magic land. "what's going on?", he asked somewhat baffled. seeing me bleeding and tear stained brought him back to reality and everything was quickly sorted out.

now, please don't get me wrong... Himself is a very attentive husband and rarely makes me feel like a widow to magic, but at the end of the day, i am and that all there is to it. but to be totally fair, he becomes a theatre widower whenever i am in a show so there it is. every night, he holes himself up in either the spare room/magic room or the bedroom and watched magic videos - either how to videos or performance. tonight will be no different as he just got a dvd from a very talented magician, Rocco. his shtick is that he can produce amazing items out of apparently thin air. as much as i love to watch rocco's work, i don't like him personally. he's pretty chauvinistic, and sorry... i just can't get behind that. i love watching jeff mcbride, who does wonderful work with cards and masks. he must have studied mime or something cause he's amazing. i also love max maven; for heaven's sakes... i named my cat after him. teller of penn and teller is really awesome too. there are lots of great magicians out there and i am happy to say that Himself is one of them. he just isn't known yet. nor does he have the bank roll of copperfield but he is just as good as any of them. except maybe jeff mcbride; jeff's a master.

one of these day's, i'm going to join the act and be his lovely assistant. i have always wanted to be a magician's assistant. when i was a kid, they always had those magic specials on the tv and i thought that it would be uuber cool to be metamorphed into a tiger or something. there were always really pretty women in skimpy costumes with fans blowing their hair and swirling fog around them. how could you not want to be one of those girls? i never really wanted to be a magician myself, someone else can handle all that, but to be the girl in sword box and to wear all those shiny costumes... that would be cool.

so, at the end of the day, i don't mind that Himself is sometimes more interested in the cards and the coins. he's happy and that makes me happy. and one day, when the act is big and i am wearing skimpy, shiny costumes and being turned into a tiger, then all his hard work and my somewhat lonely nights will have paid off. until then, i'll keep picking up the cards he's dropped and making sure his magic props are shiny and clean.

everybody's working for the weekend

weekends are a time that most people look forward to. i am one of them. i know, i know... i'm home all the damn time so why would the weekend be any different. well, i'll tell you. it will sound dumb but it's cause Himself is here too. i know, i just threw up in my mouth a little, too. on the weekends, we usually have the time to do something for each other. this weekend was no exception. it started fairly normally for us. i walked the dogs and started the coffee and proceeded to finish some bunny slippers which i was working on (i finished them last night and they came out looking pretty cute, if i do say so myself). then, i took the dogs to the dog park where they seemed to really enjoy themselves. later that day though, Himself and i went to the beach (which we do every weekend since it's free and gets us out of the house). only this time we took a surfboard. see, my stupid upstairs neighbor (who asked me to watch his dogs for 5 days and was late getting home and never thanked nor paid me nor nothing) moved and left his surfboard so i took it.

you know when you get this idea in your head and it always plays out better in you head than it does in real life. yeah... that's me and surfing. i had it in my head that i would hop on that surfboard and be like some kind of prodigy. as you can see above... i'm not. it would have been the single most humiliating moment in my life, had i not been having so much fun. i was exceptionally terrible. first i couldn't get on the damn board. then once i did get on it, i kept slipping off it. then, once i finally found my balance a wave would sneak up on me and knock me over. i never did get the hang of it and i tried for most of the afternoon. Himself was no help either. all he did was photograph my sad attempts and periodically yell out, "look out! there's a shark coming!" all the while, he laughed like a hyena.

so. needless to say... my career as a professional surfer was over before it ever started. that night, i felt like i had been beaten up and i slept hard. sunday dawned and it was morning business as usual. i got up, walked the dogs and started the coffee. we were going to go to the park but i wasn't feeling like it. i still felt like i had been in battle with the ocean and i wanted to rest. so Himself and i did some shopping at home depot and goofed around all morning. that afternoon, we went and saw kung fu panda, which was very funny. but as funny as the movie was... nothing compared to the mini-show that took place a couple of seats down from us. anytime you go to a kid's movie during the day, you run the risk of having the worst time ever, because the damn kids won't shut the hell up. this time wasn't so bad. the kids were pretty good. now. the movie is reaching the emotional climax, when i choose to look at my husband. just past him, some dopey kid was sitting in his seat on his knees. you know how folding seats will fold back up if there is too much weight in the back and not enough in the front? yeah, well, i witnessed this kid's lesson in weight leverage. the seat folded up on him and he fell forward and out on to the floor with a thunk. he wasn't hurt... just got back up and sat down correctly. meanwhile... Himself and i laughed until i got a headache and was seeing stars. but it was that snake laugh, you know... ssss ssssss sssssss sss sssss ssssss, we didn't want to disturb anyone. the dad of the kid gave me the stink eye as he and the kid were leaving. i just laughed. hey, i can't help it if your kid is an idiot. god. i love the weekend.