the customer is always right (in their own mind)

well, kids...

i'm back in retail. and i am back at a book store. bonus. as some of you may know, i once worked at a book store chain and left for weird circumstances. but that is all behind me now as i have a great job, which i thoroughly enjoy at a new book store chain. and i'm not just saying all that because my boss might read my blog. i've said it before... working at a book store is great if you are at customer service because everyone that comes in the store assumes that you have read all the books that you sell. they ask you in almost reverent tones where they too might find a book which could offer them such enlightenment. it's like you are a librarian that doesn't shout at people for being too loud. sometimes you will have a customer that is stupefied that you can't find "that book with the word blue in the title that that guy on the radio was talking about this morning" "well, what radio station, ma'am?" "oh, i don't know. my kids were listening to it." and of course the that is the only information that they have to give. let me just say... i'm good, but i'm not that good. i once had a woman ask me to find "that book with the word wolf in the title". it wasn't about wolves but had a wolf on the cover. do you know how many books have the word "wolf" in the title? after scrolling through about 64 titles, i gave up and told her to just call when she had more info. on my first day at my new job, i had someone ask me for the "new" bram stoker novel. stoker died in 1912. i don't think that he has had anything published in a while. i have a friend who worked for the same company as myself and he had a frustrated woman that wanted a specific edition of the new testament. i say frustrated because at reaching her wits end in not finding what she wanted, turned to him and asked pleadingly, "when did they start putting the old and new testaments together?" oh, i don't know, like 300 AD. god, i love those strange few customers that give my blog fodder.

i've only been working at the store for a little less than a month, but already i have had some folks that defy normalcy. there is one guy that used to hang out at my old bookstore that now hangs out at my new bookstore. that man gives me the heebie jeebies. to me, he looks like what i imagine gollum would have looked like if instead of lurking in the depths of the misty mountains, had moved to a trailer park and eaten twinkies while he fondled "the precious". needless to say, i tend to stay on the other side of the store when i see this fellow. i'm sure he's nice but i tend to judge on my instincts and my instincts tell me to run away, run away! we have our share of oddballs, sure. like the old guys that buy a readers digest, paula dean's newest cookbook and the best of lesbian erotica of 2008. or the emo kids that think that they look very individualistic but actually look like the other group of emo kids that just left, who looked like the other emo kids that were there the night before. there is always at least one parent, every shift, that can not or will not control their child/ children. and there is at least one perv (probably trailer park gollum) that leaves random bits of porn all over the store. thank god, i like my co-workers

that is the thing about retail... it is a lot easier to get through a shift when you enjoy working with the staff. my last bookstore had a fun group of booksellers but the manager was difficult and looked like a giraffe. not that she was difficult because she looked like a giraffe, but she did and she was. i don't know what her deal was but she always seemed to not like me. it happens. i was good at my job, great at upselling, gift co-ordinating, and customer service but i was never "good enough" to achieve the employee of the month. and it was obvious to the entire staff that she purposely skipped me every month. so i took it upon myself to buy a oversized novelty button that read, "employee of the month" and wore it under my name tag. if anyone congratulated me on my "achievement" i would politely explain that it was a joke and that the actual EOTM was whomever it happened to be at that time. everyone would laugh and i would carry on with my work. perhaps my sassiness is why i no longer work there. this group i've now joined seem to be able to take a bit of sass and dish out some of their own. thank god. it's just a job, not life or death. they are just books. in the end all will be ok, so just work hard and enjoy it, eh?

but i guess that is the most important part of having a job. to enjoy. i don't work in offices because, i am too much of a free spirit. i get bored and then i get feisty, then i get fired. i have worked so many places (one of the many drawbacks of working in theatre professionally -- you have to supplement your income somehow.) but i find that doing a job where i get to assist people in some way, i like to think that i excel (or at least am kinda good). i enjoy the environment of being surrounded by books. i may not be much of a writer but i can absorb the power of the written word from the great minds that have gone before and paved the way for the next tolkin, Shakespeare, rowling and dickens. the next great name in literature may frequent my store and just maybe i will be the one that leads them to the book that fuels the flames of their literary career. the next Pulitzer prize winning author may be standing on the other side of the counter from me. watch it be trailer park gollum. *skeevy*

high diddle lee dee, an actors life for me

so. i haven't posted anything in a long while and for that i am sorry. i'm doing a show and am neck deep in The Producers. i have loved the show ever since i first saw it and thankfully this show hasn't changed that. that will happen sometimes... you see a show and fall in love with it and then by happy circumstance, you are able to work on that same show. something unpleasant happens during the run and now the show is ruined for you forever. happens all the time.

i have been unusually casualty free during the run (knock on wood) so i have enjoyed it pretty well. the last show i did, i fell down a flight of stairs. i was bruised but generally ok. the show before that, i got sick and had to be mic'ed and still couldn't be heard. i've fallen off stages, walked into sets, been run over by set pieces. i'm clumsy. what can i say.

ok so here is the deal. i have to get something off my chest right now. but it is a long and sad tale of deceit and treachery within the world of theatre. hold on to your butts, cause here we go.

several years ago, i was hired by a great director to stage manage his new play which he was taking to a competition (which we won best drama, btw). the theatre that was hosting our rehearsals was also premiering the new play prior to the competition, so i spent a lot of time there. apparently, all the hard work that i was putting in for this show had not gone unnoticed by the TD of the theatre, who it so happens needed a SM for his production of West Side Story. i love that show so when he asked if i was interested, i jumped at the chance. that and you never know when you next gig will come along so best to take it when you can. i did the run with the new play, went to competition, came home and started working on west side. when i went into the artistic dir office to sign the paper work and contracts and what have you, i let them know that if they like the work that i do, i would be willing to set up as the house stage manager. you know, stage manage most of the shows and the ones that i couldn't, coordinate the finding and training of stage managers. i would be on staff. they seemed up for my suggestion and told me that they while they couldn't hire me on staff at that time, the budget meeting would be soon and it would be discussed then. until that time, would i consider "volunteering" with other shows to make sure that i fit in with the other staff and the theatre as a whole. that sounded fine to me as i was volunteering to do spot op and shit like that, not stage manage.

West Side Story was a hit and i felt really good about the production as a whole. after it closed, i upheld my part of the bargain by running spots, set painting during the day and generally being available for what needed to be done. then i met The Bob's.

The Bob's are a local theatre couple that are both named bob and direct, choreograph and support the local theatres. everyone around this damn town acts like the bob's opinion is the be all and end all of theatre as a whole. i had never heard of them before moving here. anyway, the bob's were tag teaming Zorba. one bob was directing the other was stage manager. i was asked to be the assistant SM/deck crew chief (the DCC is in charge of the stage crew and makes sure that everything on the stage is taken care of). i was told that i didn't really need to come to rehearsals until they moved on stage (meaning that the rehearsals took place in a rehearsal room and i wasn't needed until there was set and stuff to worry about) no prob, just let me know when you want me. i was in and out of rehearsals all the time, making sure i was aware of the show. once the cast started rehearsing on stage, i brought my notebook and really got down to business. i had cues written as a back up, set changes choreographed and various lists of rails and props and other whatnots that are needed to be recorded for big shows like zorba. i am a great assistant.

one thing you should know about the bob's is... they will call a rehearsal for certain times and if they don't finish what they had planned for rehearsal, they will keep going. that sounds great doesn't it. well, when you want to run act one and you aren't past the 4th scene and it's already 10:30 at night and you have kids in the cast and the cast as a whole is volunteer and were told that rehearsal would end at 10 and the director is yelling for the next scene and most of the cast has left of their own accord because they have work in the morning... well as you can imagine, it's not fun. that sort of thing happened all the time, i was running late for my PAYING job because of my VOLUNTEERING at the theatre. i told the bob's that i had to leave. rehearsal should have ended an hour and a half before and i had to go to my job. well they threw the biggest hissy fit ever and then said i could go. i'm all for the show must go on and crap, but i have to pay my bills and stuff.

shit like that went on the whole time we rehearsed. then the day before the show, i get a call on my cell from one of the bob's (some people call him bad bob) he informs me that since i can't seem to get along with the cast (that was news to me, since about half the cast was people with whom i had worked many times and with whom i enjoyed doing shows) that they were going to let me go as the assistant SM. and would i bring my prompt book to the theatre that afternoon so the new stage manager could take over. who did they get to replace me? some guy that had been hanging around the theatre for the last week. i thought that he was a family member of one of the cast members but no... he was there to watch me so that he could usurp my position. ass. i tried to say that they technically couldn't fire me as i was unpaid. but bob just said that they didn't want me there. so with a heavy heart, i took my prompt book to the theatre and left it at my station. i picked up my personal items and left.

come to find out after all was said and done... that pretty boy that took over my show was hired as a house SM. the artistic dir basically used me for free labor with a staff job as a carrot. after all was said and done, i tried to be as professional and kind to the bob's. i figured that they were just caught in the middle of the drama and couldn't be faulted. besides everyone around here thinks that they are really important so, might as well stay on their good side.

i have now learned that the bob's have been telling people that i quit the show and left them in the lurch. that is fucking bullshit. and anyone who knows me, knows that i have never done such a thing because it isn't in my nature to do so. the time for caring and placating those assholes is over. as much as i want to be petty and make all sorts of comment about them, i won't but know this. the bob's can lick my lizard.

(and that goes for jason brener, too. i don't like him in any way. not romantically, not friendly, not professionally. and he better stop telling people that i have romantic interests in him or i will gleefully kick his ass. and i mean that literally. i will do him physical harm if he doesn't shut his howling screamer.)

i just had to get all that off my chest and now i fell better.

we're not ganna pay rent!

(30 year old me again. this post is mostly about me seeing rent. so if you haven't seen it: 1. where have you been? under a rock?!? 2. spoiler alert.)

Sept 6, 1998 @ 9:40

angel was backlit during his solo in "contact" and you could see his "little friend" in silhouette. roger was getting read to do his musetta's waltz in "la vie boheme" and accidental strummed during mimi and benny's confrontation. Collins was so fun loving and playful. you could tell who was an american and who wasn't. the chorus took their solos a lot slower. it was actually kinda cute. i think out of all the times i've seen this show, this was my favorite. adam and anthony were the best mark and roger (well, they were the originals. god, my 19 year old self is dumb) but i did like the interaction between mark and joanne from the us national tour better. wilson jermaine heredia was the best angel although the nyc angel was good too. the nyc joanne was the best and tour collins was very good. but i just love the angel/ collins relationship. you could really see the chemistry between them. the nyc maureen was better but the london girl was good. nyc homeless were better but london's alexi darling was so funny!

friday night, on the tube, some guy tried to ask me out on a date. he looked like a sane version of john malkovitch (i totally do not remember this incident). now to hampton court. it seems to me that a lot of pavement is wasted because they drive on the other side of the road. (what the hell does that mean?)

Sept 6 @ 2:54 (how do you like these exact times, eh?)
hampton court gardens are very pretty. there were some canadian geese and ducks and swans. there were carriage rides and one carriage was being pulled by what looked like Frisian horses (the horse from Ladyhawk. i love that movie and i love that breed of horse). one of the swans attacked my shoe and i feed the geese by hand (i go half way around the world to the court of king henry the 8th and all i can talk about is feeding the ducks. bless) the gardens were very romantic; made you want to be in a couple. i got lost in the maze (there is a maze made of shrubbery. it was so fun). i went through it with dori and mel and some other harlaxton students. all of us got confused (big surprise there) but dori made it out first. so the rest of us played marco polo to find our way out. kevin would have liked the maze. wish he were here.

for the love...

there is a phenomenon that has been present in theatre ever since the first production, though i don't have any proof. this quite common occurrence is what as know as the inevitable Theatre Crush. everyone has experienced it at some time or another and casts from now until the last curtain falls on the final show will have lingering effects of it.

it goes without saying that when you throw a group of people into a confined space under stressful circumstances, a variety of relationships will emerge. most are quite harmless and innocent. i, personally, tend to look after the younger members of my casts and end up becoming a older sister figure to some of them. there are strong bonds of friendship that are formed with dressing roommates as you prepare for the night's performance. these people with whom you share the stage, have to have your trust and have earned yours as well. you have laughed at each other, cried together in stress and loss, nursed your wounds and celebrated the triumph of another opening night. it stands to reason that your cast is emotionally linked to you and you to them. unfortunately, as is with most casts, after the final performance your friendships slowly fades. you never mean for it to happen but it always does. then you are cast in a new show and new bonds twine themselves around your heart. sometimes, if you are lucky, your former castmates will join you in the new show but it is never the same as it was before. each show is unique, like catching lightening in a bottle, and for that reason the relationships formed are precious.

now. that is all very well and good and platonic but what of the little theatre romances that crop up in every show. we are all guilty of having a little crush here or there. perhaps it starts as admiration. "man, she has such a beautiful singing voice" or "oh, he speaks shakespeare so eloquently." then that admiration morphs into a crush of sorts.

my first theatre crush was on a young man named, steven phillips. he and i did several shows together growing up. his whole family, sans father, did shows at the local community theatre. what a hot mess that family was. the father was a preacher at a local church and the mother was a slut who wore her 13 year old daughter's clothes. her actions forced the church people to ask the preacher to resign because she was such an embarrassment. the 13 year old daughter was a sweet girl but rather vapid. the youngest son was concentrated evil and then there was steven. cute, as far as i was concerned, charming and mischievous, steven was big ol' fish in tiny ass pond. we were rehearsing Carnival and i started to develop a little crush on him. one of our rehearsals fell on valentine's day and when i arrived at the theatre, steven handed me a box of candy, a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear. then he proceeded to tell me that he had a crush on one of the chorus girls, a pretty girl but one of the biggest idiots i have ever met, and would i give her the gifts because he was too shy to give them to her himself. sure. no problem. would you also like my heart roasted on a spit while you're at it? so needless to say, i learned early on not to hang too much hope on a theatre crush.

the best example i have of theatre crushes on awry is from my days in college theatre. but as i don't have permission from one of the main players to tell the story of The Great Backstage Relationship Explosion and i do not wish to embarrass said person, you'll just have to ask me individually. i am more than willing to tell you because i love telling this story.

so for all those in theatre, the men and women kicking their own asses to produce the best damn show you've ever seen, i raise my glass. find comfort where you may, cherish those with whom you work and if you are lucky to have your theatre crush returned-- enjoy stolen kisses, for those are the sweetest.

happy anniversary

today is my first anniversary. i was surprised with breakfast in bed by my husband. i plan to surprise him with a clean house when he gets off work. moments like anniversaries tend to make one stop and reflect and dream about the possibilities of the future.

the three years that Himself and i have been together have been so rewarding and blessed. though we don't have a perfect financial portfolio (hell, we don't have a portfolio at all, just a savings account) we have a nice apartment, wonderful pets and loving families that encourage and support us. some say that the 1st year is the hardest. i don't know if this is true but i'm certainly looking forward to what life has in store for us. god willing, we will move to Texas in the spring and start the next phase of our family -- kids. yeah, that aught to be interesting. the children of a nude model/actress and a magician/massage therapist... our kids are gonna be little freaks. but cultured freaks.

i am watching The Slipper and the Rose (#1 of my romance movies) and i was just thinking that relationships are so weird. one incident, usually insignificant, can make or break a relationship. a well placed word can make the girl say yes to a date. one misplaced word can get you a slap on the face and you never see her again. and what of those chance meetings. the held gaze of a stranger while in line at the bank or the slight electrifying touch when passing a pen to the person next to you on the train. is it fate or destiny or the hand of God that orchestrates this dance of love that we all are called to participate. why are some of the worst dancers always with partners when the best dancer on in the ballroom is left standing as a wallflower. i don't understand it anymore than the next person but i am finally content with the hand i was dealt. granted... life is not all peaches and cream. it never will be but it is the moments of perfection that make the journey worth the stumbles.

London Calling

(i was going to do a new post today but i believe that i will save it for tomorrow, since tomorrow is my one year anniversary. so with your indulgence we will pick up the story of 19 year old tat2kitten as she goes on about london and kevin and other whatnots.)

Sept 5 @ 11:16 pm
i am soaking in the bathtub (quite literally. i do all my best thinking in the bathtub and will go out of my way to make a small haven for myself in the bathroom. i will usually have a nice long soak amongst mountains of bubbles and accompanied by my book de joure {hey jess, de jouer means bubble baths}, my beverage of choice, my phone and my ipod. these sessions of lolling in the tub will take no less than an hour and a half) after a wonderful day. only if adam pascal had asked me to be his wife, could this day have been any better. this morning, the weather was dreary (dreary weather in london? you don't say) it rained on and off for a good part of the day. thankfully, i brought my coat (which was shellacked with scotch guard) i wore my sandals and black pants with my white tank under my black sweater with the red and white stripe. (cute sweater. got it on sale) the HSU (my college in tx) gang went to Westminster Abby. i saw the tomb of edward the longshanks, edward the black prince and mary, queen of scots. if memory serves -- weren't they some of the cruelest rulers of englands bloody history? but i also saw queen elizabeth I's tomb and alfred lord Tennyson, and memorials to t.s. elliot and my personal favorite, William Shakespeare. i got a bit teary at Shakespeare's memorial. just before we left, there was a short moment of silence for princess diana. (it was the 1st anniversary of her death) melanie and i lit a candle memory of our family members -- her grandmother and my grandfather. it was hard to take in all of what was there to be seen. the majesty of the holy ground was overwhelming. then we acted like tourist and took pictures of everything. we ate a delightful little cafe. i had brunch with scrambled eggs on toast, bacon and mushrooms. larry bought us all a big chocolate chip cookie. then off to rent at the shaftsburry theatre. i was worried about finding it but we turned the corner and there it was. my heart literally stopped. we picked up our tickets at will call and i bought an autographed photograph of adam pascal, another for melissa (my buddy from school; the same semester that i was at harlaxton, she did a year at cambridge), a program (you have to buy the programs at the west end), a poster and during the intermission i ended up buying the cast recording (mine was stepped on a couple of months before). the lobby had some postcards with cast photos for free so i swiped about half. we were early so we went to a bar around the corner and had drinks -- soda's and coffee. we headed back and took our seats. we sat around as the band took their places and warmed up. then adam (le sigh) walked out and i lost it. of course i have NO voice (i must have been sick or something) so all i could do was clap. then anthony came out and i lost it again. it's still hard for me to believe that i watched rent with adam, anthony, jessie and wilson! 4 original cast members were in it and they were wonderful (duh!) i spent the entire 2nd act crying (it's nice to know that somethings in life don't change. i saw rent again last spring and spent the entire 2nd act crying) i loved it but that is an understatement. after the show, i waited by the stage door (a favorite little game of mine) and waited as usual. angel came out first and i told him about how much Rent means to me. i cried as i told him how Jonathan Larson's death and my grandfather's death paralleled each other. wilson just held me; it made me feel better. then anthony came out and i told him also. he gave me a hug and agreed with me about the power of rent because his mother died last year. i felt so bad for him. we talked briefly. i should have asked them out for drinks. anthony signed my program. dr ivey (the head of the theatre dept for hardin-simmons at the time. his sister is judith ivey, the actress. he apparently went to school with gary sinise and john malkovitch. he hates them. it's fabulous) and emily met me at the theatre and i went with them to the globe theatre. wow once again! it was neat because we took the same route that my mom and i took to get to the globe 2 summers prior. we ate there at the theatre and then the show began. mark rylance, first seen by me in Henry V, was one of the lead characters. it was great. shakespeare's language set in the 1960's. i loved it, but not as much as rent. i was excited to see mark rylance perform again. there is something in the way in which he delivers his lines that makes me feel like putty. he could easily seduce me and i would follow like a trained poodle (doth mine ears deceive me -- what of the noble kevin?) i caught his eye one or two times. during rent, i know that the saw me (and probably heard me weeping like i had been stabbed). i love the theatre. i can only hope that i will be as good as the actors who i've seen today (pretty tall order). dori and mel have come home. both are LIT. esp. dori. whoa -- she's bombed. i guess i'll have to be the mom now. (i got out of the tub while back, just so you know) i got mel cleaned up and in bed. dori is uncooperative. i don't want to be drunk this whole semester. only on my birthday. i just can't believe it... i saw adam pascal and anthony rapp! i met anthony and wilson! i will never forget that. i'm a little overstimulated still, there are so many memories that i have made and so many more that are waiting for me. now i can only dream -- and wait for dori to sober up and get up off my floor.

Let's Dance

more from the vaults...

August 30th 1998 @12:48 am
i feel very lonely right now. my roommate, Leah, is a very sweet girl and had all her friends in the room when i came in. they were looking at bridal magazines. Leah is engaged and i think that that is great. today i was talking with mel (some girl from my school that went to england too. bit of a digbat... but very sweet) and i confided in her my feelings of how lonely i feel during my cycle. she agree and it was good to hear that i'm not the only one that feels that way but it doesn't take away my loneliness. i feel as though i have a void in my core. like a donut with a soul. it would be great if i could find a... well, whatever i need to fill it (heh heh. she said fill it) maybe i just need some sleep.

August 31st 1998 at 11:53
(this whole entry was a letter that kevin fellow. let me surmise. i am a smitten girl that wants to say all the right things to her christian singer simi-boyfriend. if you want all the gooey details, let me know and i'll email it to you. but just so you know, it's all just a bunch of mooning about by a girl that just needs to... well... get laid)

Sept 1 '98 @ 7:40 am
I awoke this morning feeling just fine. it's raining out (welcome to england, toots). it's a calming sound -- the rain. today will be a good day.

Sept 1 @ 4:18 pm
i'm feeling very Broadway, today.

Sept 4 @12:40 am
tomorrow i leave for London. this is so exciting. today we had a ceilidh, pronounced kay-lee. it was the most fun i have ever had! we did all sorts of scotch/irish dances, line dances, group dances and some couple dances. there was one that was like musical chairs on it was with dance partners. there were four couples and one person in the middle. all the couples danced around the person in the middle. then that person joined in and when the music stopped the person left without a partner had to dance in the middle of the group. there was a dance called the boston tea party. there was a fast waltz. i had a blast. there was so much drinking and dancing and laughing. i did a jig and the band said i was a good dancer (they must have been drunk)

Sept 4 @ 9:18 am
well, we are underway to london. i'll get to see Rent tomorrow! YEAH!!! ya know, what i liked best about the ceilidh was that everyone was dancing with everyone else. even the guys were dancing. i had so much fun. leah said that she wants to have a ceilidh at her wedding and i'm gonna have to agree with her. wow. not much will beat the fun we all had last night -- except for rent. i hope i don't see the understudies perform.

Sept 4 @ 5:39 pm
London is a bursting, busy city full of interesting bawdy people ("it's an island. just an island. full of people. i want to meet some guys, some italian guys. maybe watch some t.v." thank you parker posey) i got irritated today with larry (major jerk from my school) dorie (a sheep girl if i've ever met one, would do whatever she thought the cool kids were doing including getting a tattoo cause i did and a navel piercing cause mel did) and jason (big stupid jock), well not so much jason but larry is always picking on me and today he just got too annoying. dorie is all moody. none of us have been sleeping enough and i know that has a lot to do with it. and i know that i was not the most pleasant to be around either, lately. it's just that i have such a passion for theatre and a lot of people just don't understand and can't appreciate it the way i do. i'm pretty complacent for the most part but i will NOT let this trip end up like the last time i came to london. (i went with my mom, poppy and aunt patti. no one could agree on what to do and i spent most of the time annoyed with the lot of them) i have a feeling that the others would rather not have me around and that's fine with me. i'll go on My own :S and do what i want! i'll go see RENT. adam pascal will ask me to marry him (bless) and we'll have a short ceremony. i'll go to see "the honest whore" at the globe. besides, why should dampen their parade. i know that i annoy all of them except Mel (cause she's a nice person, the others are just bastard people). maybe i will just go out on my own. i don't need anyone's help. i'll do what i want!

Sept 4 @ 11:47 pm
Les Miz! wow. this afternoon i bought a ticket for it and for 15 pounds i got limited view on the 2nd row. i could see the make-up, mics and wig lines. one of the actors waved at me and let me just tell you... the lights were making me hot and the fog from the smoke machine cooled me off. (any closer and they would have had to slap a flag in my hand and send my onstage too) the music was so good. the scene where javert jumped from the bridge was awesome. the lighting was great. it looked like water. after the show, the group from hardin-simmons went to a pub across the circus. i had a two dogs. there was a group of guys sitting at a table and the blond cute one was eyeing me. no doubt why... i was wearing my hottie momma outfit (short skirt, knee high boots, tight sweater) this country, this city is so magical. this is the city of kings and queens and knights. peter pan, shakespeare, paddington bear. i want to see and do so much! i really want to see Rent. Tomorrow is it baby!!!! TOMORROW I SEE RENT! TOMORROW I SEE RENT! (single track mind. love that rent)

isn't it romantic

so. not long ago i realized that i have a completely unrealistic idea of romance. i was brought up with movie musicals and romantic comedies and now as an adult, the love being played at is what i have come to expect in my own life. of course i also expect random acts of dance to explode around me and that my life should have it's own soundtrack but for some reason these unrealities don't bother me. it's the lack of heart wrenching passion that bothers me.

please don't get me wrong... i have a very loving husband. he lets me just sit around the house doing my yarn projects and never asks me to lift a finger to help clean. he always compliments my cooking. he lets me sleep late on days which i don't have an 8:30 class to pose for. he doesn't yell at me. he puts on my favorite movie (the king and i) when i am sick and does magic tricks for me to cheer me up when i am gloomy.

i guess i just long for the complete fantastical when it comes to romance. and keep in mind, romance and love are not the same thing. love is sticking by someones side throughout the hardships. romance is leaving a dozen roses for your spouse for no other reason than just to see them smile. love is wiping puke off your spouse's face when they have the stomach flu. romance is whisking your spouse off to epcot center for dinner at the same restaurant that you ate dinner at on the night of your wedding. love is putting up with a spouse's smelly farts. romance is poetry and love letters.

see the difference? i have all the love. it's the romance that i long for. mike's family aren't really big gift givers, whereas my family are huge gift givers. i mean we try to out give each other. and i think that this may have something to do with it. don't misunderstand, i don't necessarily want something bought for me. although, they weren't lying when they said that diamonds are a girl's best friend. but poetry and songs and cuddling on the couch... these are free. perhaps i am hyper-sensitive because i'm in the show and i'm not home much. but one thing is for sure... i am loved very much but not romanced often enough. i guess i'm just gonna have to school him! :)

TAT2KITTEN'S TOP TEN ROMANTIC MOVIES
10. Dracula: sure i am practically afraid of my own shadow, gary oldman as dracula is almost more than i can take. dracula's wife throws herself off the castle tower when she thinks that dracula is dead. he spends the rest of his undead life mourning her. then he hooks up with her reincarnated in wynona ryder (meh :S) other than ms. ryder and mr keanu reeves "stellar" acting this is a great macabre romance
9. 50 First Dates: adam sandler and drew barrymore star in this tear jerking comedy. she plays lucy who has a head injury that causes short term memory loss so everyday adam sandler has to make her fall in love with him. i cry, just about every time i watch this film. it is funny and sweet and i love it.
8. The Wedding Singer: yet another drew and adam film. this 1980's homage has a wedding singer and a waitress falling in love under the pretence of planning her wedding to a jerk. great soundtrack and adam writes a great song for drew. i don't cry but it makes me feel good to watch it.
7. Beauty and the Beast: i like this movie so much that i had the title song played at my wedding. beautiful, but smart girl sacrifices herself for her father's sake. trapped in a castle with the beast, the two slowly fall in love and her love is strong enough to break the beast's enchantment. the only animated film to be nominated for an oscar.
6. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir: rex harrison stars in this 1947 classic. mrs. muir is a widow and decides to rent a house by the sea. rex harrison plays the ghost of a sea captain which is haunting the house. they work together to write his memoirs in order for her to buy the home and their love grows. rex harrison as a salty sea captain... brills
5. Ladyhawk: the captain of the guards (Navarre) falls in love with the most beautiful girl in the city (isabol). she returns his love and all is well and right with the world. the evil priest also lusts for her and since he can't have her, he finds a witch to curse the lovers. Navarre is transformed into a wolf at night and isabol is transformed into a hawk by day. forever together, eternally apart. they must find a way to break the spell before they are cursed for their love forever.
4. Enchanted: Giselle comes from a fairy tale and is shoved into our reality. patrick dempsey helps her to find her true love and the two end up falling in love. the best scene is in the ballroom when patrick dempsey starts to sing to giselle. this is a wonderful homage to disney fairy tale movies. there are lots of little "disney" moments to look for.
3. Moonstruck: Cher at her finest and the best acting Nick Cage did before he started sucking. this is a really Italian movie. if you've ever wanted a window into the lives of the new york italian family. every part is funny and heart filled and there are some really good lines. "you're a wolf"
2. Princess Bride: "Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..." "doesn't sound too bad. i'll try to stay awake." how could there be a list of romantic movies and this not be on it? westley is the greatest of romantic heros. "death can not stop true love. all it can do is delay it a little."
1. The Slipper and the Rose: i love love love this movie. the cinderella story kicked up a notch. richard chamberland as the prince (le sigh) and costumed in 17th century french nobility. it is beautiful, funny and all that love should be. remember what cinders was heard saying after the ball, "the right pair of shoes can changer your life."

there are so many films that i could have put on the list but i looked through my personal dvd stock and picked the films that i watch most. so sue me for wanting my life to be a little bit more like a rodgers and hammerstein musical. in times like these, isn't a little peice of fantastic deserved?

a man's house is his castle

August 29 @ 11pm (Harlaxton)

my first full day in harlaxton. it wasn't half bad. breakfast was ok but i think that they cook only the yokes of the eggs here. yesterday afternoon, melanie poucher and dore fomby and i went to the gardens. it was great, very peaceful and nice. there are five Hardin-simmons university students. me, mel, dore, jason king and larry lawson. last night they gave us a tour of the manor. i did not care!i was so freaking tired. today, i went to grantham with dore, mel and larry. i must not forget kevin (this guy again?). i know it will be hard because i am not used to this whole thing but i will try because he means to much to me to loose. i wish he were here. i think he would have had a good time and i know he would have LOVED the gardens. i picked a thistle for him. it's pressing right now. it's not that i'm looking for someone - i'm so used to having male friends and the only friends i have right now are girls. not that that's bad. it's just weird, i guess. everyone i've met is nice i guess, but everybody is nice when you first meet them one the first day of orientation. we spent the morning in grantham. saturday market was there so there were lots of shops and vendors selling things. i found dr pepper so i'll be just fine. i won't sell out kevin!!! this thought is crashing through my mind. i only ever know two guys and they are both from my school. i won't sell out kevin! he deserves better than that. hell, he deserves better than me. his picture is sitting on my nightstand.i just caught a glance of it. i love the smile (ok blah blah blah.... i liked this guy and he was really great... blah blah blah... let's just skip to the good stuff. if i go one about that guy again i'll just surmise or leave it out all together)

well. at the market, i bought at bucket for my bath stuff, a towel, a face cloth and an elbow wrap which i thought was a knee wrap -- so i can't read. i also bought some paper and 2 dr peppers. i also bought my books and switched my class from philosophy (i shouldn't have done that!) to shakespeare. i had to buy 17 books in all, including the modern drama book i brought from home. some of the former hsu/harlaxton students left a couple of boxes of stuff. i ended up with a notebook, more paper, some travel books, some markers and a pillow.

(i go on about kevin for a while)

anyway, i explored on my own today and found a lot of stuff like different ways to get somewhere (i.e. servant and secret passages) dinner tonight was for us to eat with the president of the school. i wore my black pants and silver. everyone met in the great hall, shook the pres's hand, drank some wine and stood around looking at each other. then all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, this man playing bagpipes comes in and leads us to dinner. it was quite a spread! fruit cocktail and bread... then the main course of chicken cordon bleu, potato and broc. followed by tea and pastry. white wine and water was served to drink. at 8:30, a bunch of us went down to the pub in front of the manor. Greg's. i had a pims and lemonade and a two dogs. it's an Australian lemon brew. i also had sips from other peoples drinks like stout and a snake bite. i liked the snake bite! i'm not drunk (yeah right), a little sleepy perhaps but fine otherwise. i think i may get kinda lovey if i were to actually get drunk but since that hasn't happened yet - i wouldn't know. (more yap about that kevin) someone just drove up in a taxi but i can't tell who. i know a lot of, well about half of the group went pub hopping in grantham. you know... half of the shakespeare books i bought, i all ready have. at home! well, that's life. ironic- don't ya think. well i'm going to shower now. it is now midnight!

emo girl rides again

ready for another instalment of tat2kitten's journeys abroad? well... here we go!

August 27 '98 @1:24 (uk time)

i'm listening to "leaving on a jet plane" on my cd. Guess who i'm thinking about? i guess i really haven't stopped thinking of kevin since we said our farewells. sunday. that was truly the hardest good-bye i had to say. i'm just so tired of hurting. kevin says"absence makes the heart grow fonder" i say "or forgetful". i don't want to forget him. he's too charming, romantic, funny beautiful, happy, godly, impish, caring, loving, smart (jeeze kid, get on with it) smart, talented, amusing, silly, bubbaish, comforting and trying.

god--

thank you for giving me such safe travel thus far. the lightening outside the plane is pretty. scary but pretty. thank you for letting it not hit the plane. thank you for kevin. he has added much to my life. Lord, i just pray for his future wife (i don't think that he is married... i looked him up on myspace and it looks like he is single). lord, please let her love him unconditionally and take care of all of his needs. please allow her to grow close to you and be able to be the spiritual woman that you would like her to be as you child and kevin's wife. lord, i also pray for and life up my husband. (that would be Himself the magician) Lord, please love him and hold him in your arms. let him be the spiritual man that i need as i walk in your will. lord, please give me the wisdom to know what that is exactly. lord, i just pray that he loves me and makes me feel safe. god, please be with kevin as he travels with his band. bless his words, voice and songs and lease give him a hug for me. thanks. i love you god. you are too awesome for words. greater than any other thing, person or power. i love you.

August 28 @ 2:22 (central standard)

we got off the plane, went through customs and met the group without a hitch. i went outside and saw my breath. we think that it's about 65 degrees. ha ha!

i'm leaving on a jet plane

so. i realized that have been very diligent in my writing and that i should be more kind to my faithful readers (if there are any). but honestly, there hasn't been too much that i have been passionately moved to write about. since school has been at summer session, i've kinda been stuck at home sitting on my ass, watching the travel channel. due to lack of inspiration, i've decided to type up old journal entries from my first trip to england for school. so hope you enjoy the ravings of a 20 year old college kid with the occasional side note from the blogger.

August 27th 1998 at 11:40

this is it. for the next four months, i will be living in a castle in england. the magnitude of that statement has not sunk in. yet. i'm now air born, listening to the Armageddon soundtrack. aerosmith's "don't wanna miss a thing" is the first song. why did i put that cd in? my eyes are glistening. kevin (kevin was this guy that i was kinda dating at the time. i thought that it was more serious than he did and we casually dated into 1999 but it ended as most relationships do). but, it's only a few months and it's not like i would see him anyway (kevin was in a music group that toured the country singing christian music). i'm not sad, actually i'm excited and ready. after all that has happened this summer (i lived in dallas on the weekends) a semester in another country will be very welcome. the hardest part of getting prepared to to leave was saying goodbye to the people that i love and care about. and family always make things out to be a bigger deal than it is anyway. but this is a big deal! no one else in my family has ever lived overseas. most of my family hasn't even been out of texas

i think that i should have a purpose for this journal. i will be writing in this "hopefully" daily to tell the day's adventure. i will also be using it as a spiritual journal because i've been to long away from god and i must come home. so i plan to write prayers, prayer requests and anything else of that nature (i did make an honest attempt at being religious but it was college and there were too many mornings that i woke up with a hangover.) this book will also serve as a place to store my thoughts as i experience all that i will experience (look out. i'm a totally good writer. not) poetry, snide thoughts drawings, letters i don't intend to send... will all be held within the confines of these covers (until 10 years from now, everything is written online on my blog)

right now i'm hoping that they bring on the grub. i'm awfully tired also. i haven't really just sat and reflected on what has, is and will happen. i love my family and hope that they know that. i hope that my dad is happy (he told me that he was getting divorced that summer). i know that he isn't; no matter how hard he tries to hide it (in hindsight i thing that he was just worried about me and how his divorce would affect me, bless) mama said that he might get married while i am away (my mom the comedian) and i defiantly have some mixed feelings about that. he's an adult so he has to lead his own life so whatever makes him happy...

i will miss kevin (yeah, i moon over this guy a bit) but i'm already accustomed neither seeing nor hearing from him for long periods of time. it's not something i'm necessarily fond of but comfortably ok with. i think he and i both understand the demands of work and school. even if work for hims is traveling and singing. as for how i feel about him. i love him (god bless youth) i gave a hard time about having to drive 2 1/2 hours to see him but i'd have driven 4 times as far to get to see him again before i left. the only think i can do is to pray. if god wans me to love kevin for the rest of my life (god didn't), than i know that that will be His gift. but if god has decided that my life will be perfect with someone else (that is more along the lines of what the plans were), than i will cherish the time that kevin and i have shared and be most happy in god's will. when i think about the latter, i get teary because i want to love only kevin (jeeze, i must have been pms-y) but god's plan is perfect and he will give me all that i need. i just hope that i'm not chasing an empty dream that will only lead to heartbreak. i also hope that i've grownd enough that i've grown enough that the shallowness of heart has deepened and that i wound forget the wonderful man god has placed in my life (nothing like a little foreshadowing right here at the start)

so as much as i moon on about kevin and wax on about god, i was really truly excited to be moving to england. and believe me... the journal gets a lot better the longer i'm there. there's boy kissing, drinking games, clowns, shakespeare, theatre, naked miles and much much more. so stay tuned!

last comic standing

i admit that i am a huge fan of comic book heroes. i will also admit that i have cultivated my appreciation as a young adult; to say that i collected comics as a kid would be a lie. i lived vicariously through the friends that i had that did collect the weekly comics and followed my favorite heroes in that way. though now, i have a couple of graphic novels and used to read them on my lunch break when i worked for a bookstore. i watched the comic book hero cartoons after school and now i wait with baited breath for the new hero films to be released.

something that i have noticed is that there is a fanatical passion with which a comic fan will defend his hero of choice. i, for instance, LOVE batman. he is the penultimate hero and, for my money, the best superhero that has ever been inked. Himself, on the other hand, is a staunch spiderman fan. he says that spiderman has the coolest powers, to shoot webs and climb stuff. that would be very desirable for him. we have very heated, playful arguments as to who is the better hero. and the same goes for most comic fans. superman fans say that batman is just a rich guy with a bunch of toys, while the batman fans say that superman is just an alien. each person is right and everyone is wrong.

but why are comics so popular? why do grown people become so fiercely devoted to a fictional person? i think that our current love of supers falls in line with the ancients worship of the gods. just think of mount olympus as the justice league. zeus as superman, athena as wonder woman, apollo as the green lantern. i mean, it kinda fits. and i have noticed that during political unrest (this is a highly politicial year), superheros take a popularity upswing. it is far too easy to lose oneself in the world of the heroes. knowing full well that batman will not swoop through the dog park or the save-a-lot to sweep me away, does not dissuade the fact that i secretly hope for it. (especially if it is either the christian bale or micheal keaton batman, grrrr) and it is that hope that helps the public face the cruel unknown, even if it is all on the subconscious level. just as the gods served the purpose of explaining what the world could not explain, the heroes of the comics serve to shine as beacons of truth in the unstable times.

but where would the heroes be without their archenemies? without the villains, the heroes would just be weirdos in funny costumes and tights. without the bad guys, you wouldn't have a story. the villain puts the hero's world in perspective. it's the age old question: how will you know "the good" if you never experience "the bad"? like the knights of old, the hero needs a quest. they need to vanquish the foe. spiderman must battle the green goblin. batman must battle the joker. daredevil must battle bullseye. good vs evil. God vs the devil. and this primal battle of wills is what draws us in. let's look at The Joker. he is maniacal and psychotic. his impulse is what drives him and his total disregard for the social standards entices the readers. everyone has had at least one "evil" thought. wanting to punch your boss in the face or wanting to poke your co-worker in the eye. you would never act on these thoughts, but the joker would. completely surrendering to instant gratification and impulse is an intoxicating thought and many readers let the villains act through their own evil thoughts. supervillains have just as many fans as the superheros and i think it is because you never know where their power blood lust will take you.

and on the same thought, what of the super vixens? the women that pepper the comic books are strong, beautiful anti-heroes and are what the geeks wet dreams are made of. me, personally, i want to be catwoman. sometimes she's good, most of the time, she's bad but all the time, she's totally hot. with her lithe movements, heaving bosom and seductive nature she is no match for batman or any other man that crosses her path. the vixen is the crossroad of good and evil. she gleefully dances across the line between the hero and villain. both desirable and unattainable... she is the woman that i have always wanted to be.

now, with Hollywood's lack of originality, every summer brings a new batch of comic hero films. what is funny for those who follow graphic novels, there are films made of even the most obscure comics. johnny depp was in From Hell, a comic about jack the ripper. Wanted with angelina jolie is from a graphic novel. Hellboy is infinitely more popular now that he is a movie star and the list could go on and on. speaking of lists... it's time for tat2kittens top ten super hero list.

10. the mystery men. this group of heroes are everyday blue collar workers that have become local vigilantes. you have the shoveler who shovels well, the blue rajah -- master of silverware. mr furious -- with untameable rage, invisible boy -- who can only be invisible when no one is looking, the spleen -- with his farts of power, the bowler -- the lady bowler who's father's skull is preserved inside her bowling ball and sphinx -- who can bend guns in half with his mind. they are a bit dorky but they have hearts of steel

9. the league of extraordinary gentlemen this group of heroes are made of the anti-heroes of literature. allan quartermain from king soloman's mines, mina harker from dracula, the invisible man, cpt nemo from 20,000 leagues under the sea and dr Jekyll and mr hyde.

8. the tick he is a bit of a dunder head but he has incredible strength and very tolerant sidekick, arthur the moth.

7. the hulk he's greatest strength is his greatest weakness. don't make him angry. you won't like him if he's angry.

6. wonder woman yeah for girl power, she has the lasso of truth, helpful i guess, and that invisible plane. but she can kick butt better than most.

5. superman he's an alien. i bet that on his home planet he is just a regular joe.

4. spiderman he's a kid that got bit by a spider. and that is his greatest asset... he has a tragic flaw. a kid that now has superpowers and the desire to do good.

3. the x-men the next level of human evolution. i particularly love wolverine! theirs is a battle of race. in the x-men world there are those who would make the mutants the supreme beings, those who would kill the mutants for being different and those who would keep the balance between the two sides. i like the social parallels of this comic.

2. daredevil he's a blind guy who's other senses have gained super hyper-sensitivity. he fights using a sort of echo location. i think that he is uuber cool.

1. batman another man with a tragic flaw. he was orphaned and now wants to take justice into his own hands. he is also mortally afraid of that which he has become. his fear of bats, translates into the fear he strikes into the villains. he fights for those who can't fight for themselves and give a voice to those who are afraid to speak. he is a dark knight that rides through the night, battling the powerful that prey on the weak. he is a true superhero that puts the needs of others before his own and nightly places his life on the line for the city that needs him.

oh oh oh it's magic

two nights ago i realized the full extent of my new role as a widow. (don't worry. Himself is very much alive and well...for now *insert evil laugh here*) no, i mean that i am a widow to magic. yes, ladies and gentlemen... Himself is a magician. and no, he doesn't look like david bowie from labyrinth. although, if he did... holy crap... he would never see the light of day 'cause i would have him strapped down as my love slave for the rest of his natural life. anyway, i digress. widow to magic.

Himself and i have added another cat to our growing menagerie. (i can hear you... "another animal!" yes, he's a little black cat and he's named after famed mentalist, max maven. maven is a little stinker and we are very happy to have him in the family) so, Himself is in the magic room (yes, the spare room is now "the magic room") while i was in the living room crocheting some props for Himself's act (i know, right). maven is skulking around, peapie is generally pissed at everyone because maven is there, rusty is going completely ape shit because of maven and pearl is indifferent to everything else going on (i love pearl). anyway maven is on my lap when pearl decides to make her introductions. maven wasn't so interested in meeting the huge greyhound and decided to claw his way up my torso. i'm screaming in both anger and pain, rusty is (again) going ape shit, peapie is hissing, pearl is freaked out and maven is completely beside himself. now bear in mind that i have been policing the animals all day and, now, all night and haven't had a break from rusty's incessant, high-pitched barking since maven set his paw on the floor. so, Himself saunters in, in a sort of dazed sort of way, as if he just awoke from sleep or just landed back on earth from magic land. "what's going on?", he asked somewhat baffled. seeing me bleeding and tear stained brought him back to reality and everything was quickly sorted out.

now, please don't get me wrong... Himself is a very attentive husband and rarely makes me feel like a widow to magic, but at the end of the day, i am and that all there is to it. but to be totally fair, he becomes a theatre widower whenever i am in a show so there it is. every night, he holes himself up in either the spare room/magic room or the bedroom and watched magic videos - either how to videos or performance. tonight will be no different as he just got a dvd from a very talented magician, Rocco. his shtick is that he can produce amazing items out of apparently thin air. as much as i love to watch rocco's work, i don't like him personally. he's pretty chauvinistic, and sorry... i just can't get behind that. i love watching jeff mcbride, who does wonderful work with cards and masks. he must have studied mime or something cause he's amazing. i also love max maven; for heaven's sakes... i named my cat after him. teller of penn and teller is really awesome too. there are lots of great magicians out there and i am happy to say that Himself is one of them. he just isn't known yet. nor does he have the bank roll of copperfield but he is just as good as any of them. except maybe jeff mcbride; jeff's a master.

one of these day's, i'm going to join the act and be his lovely assistant. i have always wanted to be a magician's assistant. when i was a kid, they always had those magic specials on the tv and i thought that it would be uuber cool to be metamorphed into a tiger or something. there were always really pretty women in skimpy costumes with fans blowing their hair and swirling fog around them. how could you not want to be one of those girls? i never really wanted to be a magician myself, someone else can handle all that, but to be the girl in sword box and to wear all those shiny costumes... that would be cool.

so, at the end of the day, i don't mind that Himself is sometimes more interested in the cards and the coins. he's happy and that makes me happy. and one day, when the act is big and i am wearing skimpy, shiny costumes and being turned into a tiger, then all his hard work and my somewhat lonely nights will have paid off. until then, i'll keep picking up the cards he's dropped and making sure his magic props are shiny and clean.

everybody's working for the weekend

weekends are a time that most people look forward to. i am one of them. i know, i know... i'm home all the damn time so why would the weekend be any different. well, i'll tell you. it will sound dumb but it's cause Himself is here too. i know, i just threw up in my mouth a little, too. on the weekends, we usually have the time to do something for each other. this weekend was no exception. it started fairly normally for us. i walked the dogs and started the coffee and proceeded to finish some bunny slippers which i was working on (i finished them last night and they came out looking pretty cute, if i do say so myself). then, i took the dogs to the dog park where they seemed to really enjoy themselves. later that day though, Himself and i went to the beach (which we do every weekend since it's free and gets us out of the house). only this time we took a surfboard. see, my stupid upstairs neighbor (who asked me to watch his dogs for 5 days and was late getting home and never thanked nor paid me nor nothing) moved and left his surfboard so i took it.

you know when you get this idea in your head and it always plays out better in you head than it does in real life. yeah... that's me and surfing. i had it in my head that i would hop on that surfboard and be like some kind of prodigy. as you can see above... i'm not. it would have been the single most humiliating moment in my life, had i not been having so much fun. i was exceptionally terrible. first i couldn't get on the damn board. then once i did get on it, i kept slipping off it. then, once i finally found my balance a wave would sneak up on me and knock me over. i never did get the hang of it and i tried for most of the afternoon. Himself was no help either. all he did was photograph my sad attempts and periodically yell out, "look out! there's a shark coming!" all the while, he laughed like a hyena.

so. needless to say... my career as a professional surfer was over before it ever started. that night, i felt like i had been beaten up and i slept hard. sunday dawned and it was morning business as usual. i got up, walked the dogs and started the coffee. we were going to go to the park but i wasn't feeling like it. i still felt like i had been in battle with the ocean and i wanted to rest. so Himself and i did some shopping at home depot and goofed around all morning. that afternoon, we went and saw kung fu panda, which was very funny. but as funny as the movie was... nothing compared to the mini-show that took place a couple of seats down from us. anytime you go to a kid's movie during the day, you run the risk of having the worst time ever, because the damn kids won't shut the hell up. this time wasn't so bad. the kids were pretty good. now. the movie is reaching the emotional climax, when i choose to look at my husband. just past him, some dopey kid was sitting in his seat on his knees. you know how folding seats will fold back up if there is too much weight in the back and not enough in the front? yeah, well, i witnessed this kid's lesson in weight leverage. the seat folded up on him and he fell forward and out on to the floor with a thunk. he wasn't hurt... just got back up and sat down correctly. meanwhile... Himself and i laughed until i got a headache and was seeing stars. but it was that snake laugh, you know... ssss ssssss sssssss sss sssss ssssss, we didn't want to disturb anyone. the dad of the kid gave me the stink eye as he and the kid were leaving. i just laughed. hey, i can't help it if your kid is an idiot. god. i love the weekend.

AHHH! Nature! It's all over me... GET IT OFF!!!

i like nature. it's all over the place so it's kinda hard to miss. i seem to attract it where ever i go so i am kinda used to it. when i was a kid, my dad would take me out to go fishing, hunting or just running around acting silly. i learned how to bait a hook, shoot a gun, gut a fish, shoot a bow and arrow, field dress a deer, and cook a squirrel. most of these talents have fallen by the wayside as i have grown up but the respect for and enjoyment of nature has retained.

as i have grown up, i tend to be a little more conscious of the world around me. while i was living in london, i found a den of foxes in my neighborhood. i probably shouldn't have done so, but i started buying them bacon wraps for them. there was a mom and her kits. and they were cute. i still love feeding the ducks at the pond at my apt complex and absolutely love going to the zoo. as you have previously read... i really like animals and have several of my own, so it comes as no surprise that i like nature.

as much as i complain about the part of florida that i live in, it is chock full of wildlife. here at my complex, we have a little pond that is home to lots of muscovy ducks (turkey ducks, as i like to call them), turtles, some fish and a couple of river otters. yes, folks, river otters. i had never seen wild otters before and thought that Himself was confused when he said that he had seen them. i figured that he had seen a couple of nutra rats or something. but damned if he was right. i watched one wrestle a big catfish out of the pond and eat it on the bank. then, when he noticed me watching, the otter took his fishy prize back in the water, swam into the drainage ditch and ate it there. i could hear the otter crunching on the fish from the drain cover. uuber cool. it was like being on wild kingdom. Himself was running about like freakin' jeff corwin. as for the water birds... i feed the ducks and geese. just this week a family of canada geese have moved in and made themselves at home. i feed them in the mornings. there is a mommy, daddy and 6 babby geese. the babies take the bread right out of my hand and the mom doesn't hiss at me so much now. love it.

there is life teaming in the trees that line the complex as well. now keep in mind that this apartment complex in one a major roadway in the middle of a city. i'm not living out in the boonies, i am living 5 minutes from downtown and next to an applebee's. anyway... there is an osprey and a hawk family that live in our trees. a copious amount of crows, quite a few bats and some possums. pearl (the greyhound) likes to find the possums and chase them trough the verge. unfortunately for both of us, i am still attached to her via the leash and i end up crashing through the brambles as well. it's not a pretty picture. just imagine this 65lb running machine tugging this screaming chunky girl behind her.

on a more elegant thought... i have taken up snorkeling again. when i first moved to fl, i would snorkel on my days off but those were few and far between so my hobby sort of died. but lately, i have been going to the beach every weekend (it's there, it's free, why not) and i have started strapping on the fins. the last time i went, i didn't see much... some fish and some pretty shells but there is a nice beach that has a big sandbar right around the corner, so i think that this weekend we'll there.

now. i have been lucky enough to have seen dolphins, pelicans, starfish and huge conchs, but until recently, i have never seen a wild manatee. i like manatees. i think that they are cute. so, at the dog park, i was bemoaning the fact that i had never seen a wild manatee and one of the other dog owners tipped me off to a small cove that is home to a pod (?) of manatees. it is only a few blocks away and it is fairly secluded. so, Himself and i went to check it out. we got out of the truck and right there in front of my eyes were 3 feeding manatees. well, all i could see was their noses but they were manatees and i was stoked! we sat for about an hour, just watching them swim about and eat. it was very calming. i plan on taking my mom out to see them when she visits next week.

boobs

so. as i have written in the past... i am a knitter. i also crochet and i am self taught. a few years ago, i didn't have a lot of money to spend on christmas gifts, so i decided to knit all the gifts that year. i got better and better and know i can knit lots of stuff. i wanted to use my powers for good rather than evil so i decided to start knitting with a purpose. i mean harry potter house scarves are fun and all but i would rather be doing something good with all that yarn. and i have a lot of yarn. so i decided to make plush boobs for women that have breast cancer and have had a mastectomy. you see... when the hospital takes your boob and you have insurance, they give you this big ole honkin' thing that is a prosthetic boob. from what i hear tell, those prosthetics are awkward, hot and heavy. docs that they are made for you and your measurements, but they're not that great, but i guess they're better than nothing. well i know that i don't want some giant piece of rubber strapped to my chest. i would rather have something pretty that matches my cute bras. so i looked online and found a great pattern to make boobs. i have made my own little adjustments and now want to offer the world Bon Bon Bosoms. i want to call them bon bon because i can name each color scheme after candy. the one pictured is called strawberries and cream. i plan on making a peaches and cream, mocha truffle, cafe au lait and chocolate covered cherries. i also want to have a special line called the Lizzy Line for ladies with a bit of a sense of humor. there will be squeak toys inserted into the boob, blinky lights and other funny things to keep ones spirits up. i also want to give women the option to have some custom made to match their bras, dresses or other outfits. each bon bon will be weighted with a pretty gratitude rock that is inscribed with an inspirational message like "hope", "strength", "phoenix", "sassy", "beauty". my buddy, Pipper's Mom thinks that it will be a good thing. i will make generic bon bons to donate to hospitals and cancer groups and give ladies the chance to try 'em out and if they like them then the women can have special ones made. those would be for sell but they won't be very expensive. each generic bon bon will be made with acrylic yarn so that they can be laundered and are generally hypo-allergenic. the special commissions will be made to the specs that the customers want. if they want alpaca wool... thats what they will get. if they want fun fur, then i'll make them a tribble. silk blends, glitterspun, mohair... i'm down for whatever. i'm just happy to have something to work for. my aunt recently lost the fight in her battle against cancer and i feel that knitting boobs is that lease that i could do to honor her. and if anyone wants one just let me know. i can also make smaller bon bons that can hang from your rear view mirror like fuzzy dice, or more like fuzzy nipples.