jeeze, can't you take a joke

every time i go to wal-mart, there is an opportunity for me to photograph the oddballs that frequent said store and exploit them via the interweb. on a side note... jess and i had thought up the idea of "people of wal-mart" long before that website swept the web but we just didn't do anything about it. if you haven't been to peopleofwalmart.com, go there now. i can wait. back so soon? see? isn't it the funniest site? brilliant!

tonight was no different as far as possible specimens to photograph and mock. including but not limited to a young man working one of the registers wearing skinny jeans, with pale ass skin, jet black hair and other trappings worthy of pete wentz. oddly enough, he was wearing a name tag that read "ashlee". sorry but that shit was funny.

i asked my cashier if his name really was ashlee. i mean, it is possible that ashlee was his given name. look at gone with the wind. scarlett spends most of the book (and film) mooning over ashley wilkes. granted... it's not really considered a boy name anymore but it certainly could be. my cashier (an older woman) said that she thought that his legal given name was earnest. even better. i proceeded to make a sociological joke about how teens think that now one ever has or will understand them. and that by showing their individuality, they all end up looking the same as every other teen. (a point, i believe, i have made in past posts) well... old lady cashier interrupts saying, "well, in the bible, it says that we should love, first and foremost. jesus tells us that we should love one another and not judge." i looked at her and said, "i'm covered in tattoos. who am i to cast the first stone?" i'll take your jesus quote and raise you one, bitch.

1. why can't any of these frickin bible thumpers listen to what is being said instead of jumping to their own conclusions. and therefore judging the speaker, which old lady cashier said jesus said not to do? bitch, you don't know me. i bet i can out quote you in bible. i took two semesters of it in college, was a summer missionary for 6 years, went to a baptist university and was the vice president for the fellowship of christian students. i know my damn bible. i know what jesus said and i don't need you to tell me. you throwing jesus and/or the bible in my face to make your point just makes me tune you out. you become demoted to the level of religious zealot. and that just makes people uncomfortable like one of those crazy people who wear a sandwich board that says that the end is near.

2. why can't these same thumpers take a damn joke. i mean, really. i read an extremely funny book called, lamb by christopher moore. basically, it is the (fictional) gospel of biff, jesus' best friend. it is rather irreverent but very hilarious. but i'm pretty sure that old lady cashier would be the first to throw Lamb onto the bonfire. jesus is always portrayed with that droopy sad face but i have a feeling that he could totally hang. he's the son of god and god made giraffes and platypus and lady gaga. i know that god can hang and has one hell of a sense of humor. all i'm saying is... people need to lighten up.

this life is too damn short to take yourself so seriously. now, i will be the first to admit that i wear my heart on my sleeve and as a general rule, my face is an open window to my thoughts and feelings. being so emotive is good in that most everyone can plainly see how you are feeling. but it leaves one exposed. i feel very deeply and transversely i can be hurt, emotionally, very deeply. but i am learning to let it all roll off my back. a hard lesson, to be sure, but this world will add enough stress of it's own without my help. as the song says: Life is just a bowl of cherries. don't take it serious; life's too mysterious. so live and laugh. laugh and love. live, love, laugh at it all.